


Fall Back

by inarizakillme, moonstarkeiji



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fake Dating, M/M, Open Ending, Slow Burn, angst obv, teenage years are a pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:07:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27299965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inarizakillme/pseuds/inarizakillme, https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonstarkeiji/pseuds/moonstarkeiji
Summary: Suna's not interested in most things.Osamu has a problem.
Relationships: Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	Fall Back

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1: longing // fake dating
> 
> for ultimate feels, listen to [space song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBtlPT23PTM) by beach house

Suna Rintarou, age 15, tends to forget meaningless things easily. Names of strangers he meets once, events that doesn’t interest him, or random daily memories that don’t mean much. To his logic, it takes up space in his head where they don’t bring any use remembering for. His friends think it’s weird, to him, it’s second nature.

So when Suna remembers that day as clear as a cloudless sky, it’s definitely significant to him.

Tuesday, 9 AM in the morning. Second semester of first year.

Gin, Suna’s friend who he’s known since middle school, sat in front of Suna, and was talking to another girl in class, something about a new transfer student. Suna wasn’t interested in newcomers, or any person for that matter, so he paid no attention to their conversation. A mishmash of words like ‘Hyogo’, ‘twins’ and ‘cute’ were the only ones he could catch. He sighed, the day was still early but all he looked forward to at the end of the day was the ‘buy 1 free 1’ promotion at the onigiri stall near the junction of the school road.

“So what do you think, Suna?”

The girl, Suna believed the name was Momo, asked. He had no idea what she was talking about, but he didn’t bother to ask, so he shrugged instead and laid his head on the table. Momo sighed in disbelief, Gin only laughed, knowing full well how these kinds of things just never seem to interest him.

But that particular day proved him wrong.

He came like a soft cool breeze in the hot summer air, a sweet lingering scent of dew in the morning grass. A nice surprise, but welcoming. Grizzled, grey dyed hair accompanied by a dull, bored expression. Grey irises over hooded eyes as he looked over the whole class, introducing himself with the same monotonous tone.

“Miya Osamu. Nice to meet everyone. Please take care of me.”

Suna found himself transfixed on him, his eyes following the figure as he sat two tables in front and to the right of him. Something about him made Suna unable to take his eyes off him, he assumed it was witchcraft. The gray haired boy turned around to put his bag on his seat, and their eyes met. Suna realises he must’ve been starting, but it doesn't seem to bother Osamu when he gives a small nod of acknowledgement and returns to look back to the front. 

Suna felt his heart stood still, and the world seemed to stop.

The moment the bell rang indicating lunch time, even before Osamu could close his book, he was swarmed by everyone asking him just about everything. Gin turned towards Suna, pointing his thumb to the crowd.

“Damn, pretty boy right there already got so many fans.” Gin whistled. Suna didn’t say a word, but his eyes are still glued to Osamu who’s politely answering everyone’s questions.

Then the back door slammed open, nearly knocking the whole class off their seat. “Samu! Let’s eat!”

An identical figure to Osamu is standing at the door, face all bright and grinning, but with dyed blonde hair instead.

“So that’s his twin, they don’t look the same.” Gin said.

“They look absolutely identical.”

“I didn’t mean appearance wise.”

Gin’s got a point, the blond guy basically just opened a door of another classroom and screamed out loud. Suna turned his head towards Osamu, who got up his chair and bowed to everyone before proceeding to the back door where the blond was waiting. Before he could react, Osamu was smacking his twin’s head. _Hard_.

“Okay, maybe they are identical.”

With every passing day, Suna learns more things about Osamu.

He’s more calm and composed than Atsumu, the other twin, but he won’t hesitate to punch him in the throat. He laughs lightly at the silliest jokes Aran makes. He smiles, just a little, like soft rays of sunshine on a cloudy day. He speaks, only when asked, voice soft and low, but enough to shake Suna’s heart. 

He’s also pretty good as an overall volleyball player. Suna thought practicing with him wasn’t hard, as if he was just naturally good at it. Not as extraordinary as his twin brother, sure, but enough to be complimented by the coach. Enough for Suna to constantly look for him on the court.

On usual days, Osamu would sit at his table with a bento that looked enough to feed a whole army. But on that day, it was a bit different. Osamu brought his bento and was standing next to Suna’s table.

“Is it okay if I sit with ya guys to eat?” he asked. Suna and Gin looked at each other, or more Gin looking for signs that Suna would be okay with it. Suna simply nodded.

“Sure, grab a seat.” Gin said. They made some space for him on Suna’s table, before he put his giant bento on the table.

They ate in silence, Gin slowly eating his rice and looking back and forth towards Suna and Osamu.

“Suna, right?”

Suna snapped his head towards Osamu, who’s hooded eyes were fixed on him. He felt his heart beating faster than usual.

“Yeah.”

“Sorry I never made any conversations with ya during volleyball practice, though it’s been like a month since I got in, but yer really impressive as a middle blocker.” Suna was a bit uncomfortable with the way Osamu’s eyes were staring, as if locking him in place.

“Uh, thanks. It’s no big deal, I’m not much of a talker.”

“Yeah, Suna doesn’t talk much, so you don’t have to apologise about that.” Gin said.

“Cool, guess we have a thing in common then.” Osamu continues to eat his onigiri from his bento. Those words seemed to be innocent, but it left Suna feeling weirdly happy, to be sharing something familiar.

They continued to eat, and made small talk getting to know each other, but it was mostly Gin talking while Suna was trying to figure out what’s this light fluttery feeling in chest. He took small glances towards Osamu from time to time, and felt his face heating up every time he did.

The bell rang, and Osamu stood up to go back to his seat. Suna’s eyes followed him until was seated and he definitely knew these spiraling emotions in his heart.

He likes Miya Osamu.

Suna, though more of a reserved person, got along so well with Osamu.

Being classmates contributed a lot, volleyball practice too and the walk home being on the same road helped as well. He called him Samu now, and the latter called him Rin. He felt a slight prick of happiness in his chest everytime he said his name, like something personal only for the both of them. They share the same interest in music, in food, as well as sense of humour. Osamu always laughs at the jokes Suna makes, even when to others it wasn’t even relatively as funny as Osamu makes it to be. Suna loves it, he loves the sound of his laughter. How he wishes he could listen to the same laughter every day. How it could be his, and only his to hear and love forever.

But he knows Osamu does not feel the same way towards him.

He knows this, because he tried giving hints, or more precisely, avoiding any form of physical contact as possible and hoped Osamu puts two and two together. He could feel his skin heating up when they accidentally bumped shoulders when eating, when their fingers touched when blocking a ball in court, or when walking and their arms brushed together. He automatically apologised profusely, even when Osamu said it’s no big deal. He hid his face as much as he could, so Osamu wouldn’t see the blush creeping up on his cheeks when it happened.

There was also that one time when Gin was asking him about his preferences and types of person he looks for in a relationship. At first Osamu thought it wasn’t important, but Gin really likes to ask about these kinds of things.

“I’m not really looking for anyone at the moment, really.”

“Yeah, okay, but if you had to describe the person though, how would you like your partner to be?” Gin really insisted to know, it’s been 5 minutes of pestering and Osamu’s already looking like he could poke Gin’s eyebrows with the chopsticks he’s holding. It doesn’t look like it, but Suna’s on the edge of his seat waiting for his answers, eager to know too.

“Okay okay, let me give you options and you can just choose from ‘em.” Osamu paused for a while, but gave in eventually.

“Dyed hair or natural?”

“Dyed.” That’s one strike.

“Female or male?”

“Hm, doesn’t matter.” Oh, interesting.

“Taller or shorter?”

“Shorter’s pretty cute.” Two strikes.

“Do you like someone who can cook? Or does it matter?”

“If they can, that’s better.” Suna thinks if he can cook, he’s okay with it, never burnt anything so far.

“Someone older, or younger?”

“I like older people, they seem to be more mature”. 

And that’s strike three. Suna muted his ears afterwards, even though the conversation seems to go on for 10 more minutes. He didn’t bother listening, and felt a bit disappointed he wasn’t Osamu’s type. It might’ve shown on his face, though he didn’t notice when Osamu’s eyes lingered a second longer on him than usual.

It’s the start of 2nd year, the cool spring air hitting Suna’s face, making him shiver a bit so he digs his hands into the pockets of his coat deeper as he walks to school in the morning. He has always been bad with cold weather, and it didn’t help that he forgot to bring his gloves this time. As he turns right on a junction, a pair of identical heads comes into view, and his heart thumps.

The twins had a matching patterned scarf wrapped around their necks but in different colours. Suna gives a small wave as they get closer. Silently, they walk to school together, Suna occasionally sneezing along the way.

“Dude, are ya sick or somethin’?” Atsumu asks, peeking at Suna from Osamu’s side. Osamu looks at Suna as well, while he just clasps his hands together, rubbing for some heat.

“No, just cold. I forgot to bring my gloves, and it’s freezing.”

“It’s April.”

“I’m sorry I’m not resistant to the cold weather like you Hyogo folks.”

“It’s goddamn April!” Suna laughs, still rubbing his hands, blowing some hot air from his breath. Then he sees a pair of gloves in his view. 

“Take mine.” Osamu offers his. Suna reluctantly takes it, hoping to God Osamu doesn’t see his cheeks reddening, hoping he thinks it’s from the cold. Suna thanks him, and slides his hands into the gloves and indulges the heat it provides.

As he puts his hands back into his pockets, his eyes meet with a girl staring at them, standing by a bus stop, who immediately turns away when her gaze caught his. From the uniform, she’s definitely from their school, but he doesn’t recognise her. He thinks maybe it’s just his imagination, or the cold freezing his brains, but he can feel the same pair of eyes staring at their backs as they pass by.

It’s definitely not his imagination.

He thought it was coincidence that he sees the same girl again, maybe because he’s seen her that morning and thought she was weird so he remembers the face. This year, their classroom is closer to the cafeteria, so the three of them including Gin likes to go to get extra snacks. Truthfully it’s just Osamu, but he didn’t mind tagging along, especially when it’s Osamu involved. He’s kinda used to being stared at when walking next to Osamu, he is one half the school heart-throb twin duo after all. But it was getting weird how he sees the same face again, staring at them from the cafeteria tables.

It happens lots of times at different places too; in the hallway, stairs, shoe locker, school gate. But this time it’s even weirder that he can see her sneakily hiding behind one of the building’s walls nearing their gym entrance. The place is a bit further and secluded away from the classroom buildings, so it wasn’t just by chance that she was here. He looks at Osamu, wondering if he notices it, he seems to be unaware of it, but he makes a mental note to ask him about it later.

Their practice ends earlier than usual, and the team decides to eat at the nearby onigiri stall. Suna couldn’t help the growling in his stomach, and he instinctively looks at Osamu, who also has a painfully hungry scowl on his face. He adores it, feeling the butterflies in his tummy whenever he looks at those gray irises, but looks away before he’s caught staring.

The walk to the stall is nothing less of a chaotic mess with Atsumu and Osamu bickering over which onigiri filling is the tastiest, Aran-kun trying his best to break the fight while the rest laughs at them. Suna didn’t miss the chance to get this on camera, holding his phone up to record. As he points the phone towards them, he sees it.

It’s her again.

He couldn’t help but to look at her, and just as expected, she runs away when she is spotted. Normally it doesn’t bother him, but this was getting weird even for Suna himself. They arrive at the stall, taking their seats and start ordering. Suna took this chance to ask Osamu.

“Hey Samu, don’t know if you realise it, but there’s this girl who keeps watching us.”

“A lot of people stare at me daily, Rin, I’m pretty used to it.” Samu said, before ordering 3 salmon onigiris. Suna turns around on his seat, trying to see if the girl is here and just as he thought, she is.

“Dude there, 3 seats behind us, brown hair with clips.” Osamu turns around, but turns back just as fast as if he’s disinterested in it and didn’t say a thing.

“Is she your friend?” Suna asks again, to which Osamu just waves his hands to his face.

“Nope, ignore her Rin.” Their onigiri orders arrive and Suna lets the conversation slide.

“Okay, 10 minute break!”

Everyone on the court stops their play, and groans from relief after their intense practice. Suna plops himself on the floor, wiping his face with his towel. He thanked Akagi for giving him a water bottle, gulping it down fast to quench his thirst. He sees Osamu talking to Omimi, probably about his blockings during their practice. Suddenly, Kita calls everyone to gather near him.

“If this is ‘bout how my spikes were bad, I blame Atsumu’s set. It’s kinda shitty today.” Osamu said immediately.

“Excuse ME! Yer spikes were so unstable and I had to try my best t’match yer shitty jumps!” Atsumu retaliates just as quickly. Kita gives a small cough, the twins promptly stop and silence themselves. Suna always thought these two were uncontrollable, but apparently nobody can get away from being terrified of Kita Shinsuke.

“I called for something unrelated to volleyball. I don’t think anybody noticed, and I hope you all don’t look right after I say this, but there’s this girl on the seats upstairs who’s been watching us.” Suna spontaneously whips his head to look up at the top floor bleachers. He doesn’t see anybody, but then he spots it. At the furthest corner, hidden away from the lights, the same girl from before.

“She’s really persistent, Samu.” Atsumu says, and Suna widens his eyes at him. Does Atsumu know this girl too? He sees Osamu rolling his eyes, looking kind of pissed before going back to his usual emotionless expression.

“Do you know her, Osamu?” Kita asks. All eyes on him now, Osamu just rubs the back of his head, hesitant to answer.

“Just ignore her, Kita-san.” Kita looks up, arms crossed as usual.

“If you say so. I don’t want to probe into your matter, Osamu, but the girl has been here everytime we practice ever since you twins transferred here.” Suna’s jaw drops, Atsumu wheezing his head out at the side and Osamu an inch away from murdering his brother.

“Damn Samu! This is hilarious ya got a stalker!” Atsumu continues laughing, but the whole team is just as confused as Suna. Kita raises an eyebrow, intrigued. Osamu, after letting go of his twin’s neck, sighs.

“She’s just a girl who confessed to me a couple months back, it’s no big dea-”

“He rejected her and she basically cried and wailed back to class. She’s my classmate by the way, so to see the events unfold was hilarious!” Atsumu cuts Osamu off, to which results in his neck being strangled again. Ahh, now everything makes sense, Suna thinks. He shouldn’t be surprised that Osamu would get confessions, but it somewhat stings knowing he didn’t tell him about it.

“Sounds like a big deal to me. Shinsuke-kun said she’s been here every, single, day when we have practice! That’s kinda creepy.” Akagi whispers, as if any louder the girl could hear them. Omimi nods next to him.

“I’m sure it’s harmless, it’s love. Love does weird things to ya.” Aran says, as usual trying to be the mediator of the whole situation.

“Kinda funny how she chose Osamu instead when Atsumu is just right there in the same class.” Everybody laughs, making Atsumu huff out crankily. Suna thought of it, before speaking out.

“I always see her when I’m walking with Osamu.” Now all eyes are on him.

“Always?” Suna nods.

“Like how always? Classroom? Hallway? Toilet?” Suna nods again.

“Wait, school gate? School field?” Nods.

“No way, don’t tell me, at the onigiri stall?” Suna nods, this time Kita’s eyes widens a bit, trying to process the info.

“Why didn’t cha say ‘nything Sunarin?” Atsumu asks, and Suna takes a look at Osamu who’s not looking at him. He hesitates a bit, but answers anyway.  
“Ah… well… Samu said to ignore her, so I did.”

Everyone went quiet, until the coach calls them back to continue their practice. They resume the drills, Suna glancing at the top bleachers once in a while and sure enough, she’s still there. He looks at Osamu, his face quite obvious that this is finally bothering him.

After another couple of hours of practice, and 3 sets later, they end their practice. They grab their bags and head home. Atsumu isn’t walking home with them, he left his books in class and tells them to head back first.

The walk back was quiet, none of them talking. Until Osamu breaks the silence.  
“Sorry I didn’t tell ya about the girl. I didn’t think it’ll get this bad.” Suna nods, telling him it’s fine. He is fine, it’s not any of his business, so he shouldn’t get sad about it, he tries to reassure himself.

“What’re you going to do about it? Are you okay with her following you everywhere?” Osamu didn’t answer, but he stopped his walk abruptly. Suna looks back, confused.

“Samu?”

“I’ve been thinking. Maybe we should fake date.”

Suna blinks once, twice. Did he hear this right, did Osamu suggest they pretend to date? Him? And Osamu? He thinks about it, a part of his brain wants to shout yes immediately, but the other logical part is working as fast as it could to see what could go wrong.

And so many things could go wrong, you dumb idiot, Suna screams in his head. He has had a crush on Osamu since the day he laid his eyes on him, and now the boy himself is suggesting they fake date. Sure, Suna would like it, he has always daydreamed what it’s like to be Osamu’s lover, but this is all too much and too fast. He has to act cool, pretend this isn’t making his heart race like he’s in a marathon, he can’t let his emotions out in the open and break their friendship.

The wind blows ever so slightly, small petals of flowers falling between them, he realises he’s been silent for a minute now. Osamu cocks his head to the side, an eyebrow raising.

“If yer not okay with it, ya can always say ya don’t want to, Rin. I ain’t forcin’. Just, cause we’re always together and I’m pretty close with ya, thought it’d be the best option.”

“Ah, no, no! Sure! I’ll date you. I mean- I’ll fake date you.” Suna answers quickly. Osamu laughs, then places his hand on Suna’s shoulders as they continue to walk.

“Thanks Rin. I didn’t know what to do. The girl’s been followin’ me and I can’t ignore her cause it’s just so weird! And I see her almost everywhere! It’s gettin’ creepy and I tried so many things…” Osamu’s voice slowly fades from Suna’s ears. His heart is beating fast, his stomach doing somersaults and the hand on his shoulder feels like it’s burning him. He glances to the side, watching Osamu still talking about the girl and smiles a little.

He’ll take what he can get to be a step closer with Osamu. Even if it means faking it. It’ll be alright.

The next few days, Suna and Osamu begin their fake dating plan. They spend more time together, always eating together, taking breaks and walks everywhere together. It wasn’t anything different than what they’ve been doing, but Osamu was closer. He lets their shoulders touch, allowing him to stand closer than his heart could handle. He wished he could do more, he wished he could be a little more selfish, but this is all fake. Pretending. Helping his friend. Yeah. This is to help a friend, repeating these words like a mantra.

Suna walks to the vending machine, maybe a refreshing melon drink would energize him for the day. The previous math class really used all his brain cells, and Suna is drained. He pushes a coin in and presses the button for his drink. He thinks about it for a second, and adds another coin for Osamu’s drink.

“You're kidding?” Suna hears a girl’s voice from the corner. Ah, another couple fight, he thought. This particular area is popular for couples to have arguments or confessions. He picks a drink for Osamu, crouches to pick it up and gets ready to leave.

“I don’t joke around ‘bout this sorta thing.”

Wait, he knows this voice. That voice who brings joy to his ears like a strum of guitar strings and chirping of birds in the morning.

“Since when?” Suna slowly walks to the corner, hiding behind the wall. He takes a peak from the corner of his eyes and true enough, it’s Osamu, together with the girl. He hides again, wondering if it’s a good idea to be eavesdropping, but he stays anyway.

“I’m with Rin now, and I love him with my whole heart. I’d appreciate it if ya don’t bother us ‘nymore, not when I’m with him.” 

_Thump thump_.

Suna’s whole body is stunned, unable to move. Heat slowly rushing towards his face, he can feel it, he knows his whole face is as red as a tomato. _Oh god, I feel like I’m floating on cloud nine_.

Wait, no. This is not real. This is just him faking it, he doesn’t love Suna, he just wants the girl to not pester him anymore. Yeah, that’s it. Osamu’s pretending, he doesn’t…

“I don’t think you and him would last long.”

“Watch me stay with him till the end of my life, then.”

Suna drops his drinks. _Shit_.

Osamu and the girl turn their heads to where Suna is, him picking up the drinks, quietly cursing himself. The girl rolls her eyes, and walks past him, not without giving a death stare that Suna is sure filled with intentions to kill. Suna sighs, stands up and goes to Osamu.

“Ah, sorry, I was buying some drinks for us. Here.” Osamu mutters a small thanks, immediately opens the tin and drinks it. Suna watches the girl walk away into the academic building, now that he’s seen her up close, he thinks she’s kind of pretty if it wasn’t for her stalkerish habit. 

“Did ya hear what we were talkin’ about back there?” Osamu asks. Suna laughs lightly, rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah, sorry I didn’t mean to, you guys were pretty loud so I kinda heard everything.”

“Hmm.”

“You’re a good actor, Samu. It almost sounded like you meant it.”

“Yeah, sorry Rin. Gotta make it believable, ya know.” Osamu gulps his drink. Suna musters up a smile.

“Of course.”

The door to the gym slides open with a bang, startling everyone on the floor. Atsumu barges in, almost running towards them, screaming-

“SAMU! YER DATING SUNARIN??!”

Akagi and Aran’s jaw drops, Omimi closes his mouth with his hand, and even the usually composed and stoic Kita has his eyes blown wide. Osamu puts his hand to his forehead, sighing. Suna pouts, it was only yesterday since Osamu told the girl about them. He guesses rumours spread fast in this school.

“Damn, I didn’t know you two were a couple!” Akagi says. Aran nods next to him.

“I guess it makes sense though, they’re always together.”

“We’re not.” Osamu interrupts them. They look at each other confusingly.

“Then where did you hear it from, Atsumu?” Kita asks.

“From Haru, class 7. He came and asked me, I’m hurt Samu! I thought we were twins!”

“Tsumu, shut up,” A good, hard smack on the head. “No, we’re not dating, we’re pretending we’re dating.”

Osamu proceeds to explain the whole situation; the plan, and how he hopes it’ll turn out. He didn’t anticipate it to spread fast, but he wasn’t surprised. He asks for the team to keep it a secret, that is until the girl stops following him. Suna stands next to Osamu, nodding once in a while, but quiet throughout the explanation, oblivious at the way Gin is staring at him.

The team took it easier than Suna expected, but he’s thankful. They get ready before the coach calls them for their first practice, Suna getting up from the floor.

“Hey, Suna,” Gin calls him, holding his shoulder. “I support whatever you guys are doing, more cause I don’t know the situation, but, will you be okay with this?”

Suna knows what he means, but decides to play dumb, and plastering a fake smile hoping it’s enough to mask his true emotion.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? I’m just helping out a friend.” Gin stares at him for another second, before sighing.

“Okay, if you say so.”

Recess has become a time where Suna braces himself for the eyes that stares at him as he walks to the cafeteria. It didn’t use to be like this but now he feels as if the whole school is observing him under a microscope. Thank god today they’re having lunch at Suna’s table instead, Gin joining them.

Suna likes his table, it’s always at the furthest end next to the window. He likes when the cool summer air outside caresses his face, or when the sunlight hits in the colder autumn season. And today, with the wind slowly blowing into the class, he feels so much better with Osamu sitting by his side. Suna lays his head on his crossed arms on the table, sneakily leaving a space for him to look at Osamu. The sunray hitting just right to shine onto those gray streaks of hair, softly moving when he chews down his bento of the day.

Ah, Suna’s in deep, he wonders if he could ever climb out of it.

“Ne ne, Osamu-kun, Suna-kun,” His classmate, Momo, comes to their table, hands behind her back. “Is it okay if I ask you guys something?”

Suna turns his head to face her, Osamu still chewing his food. Gin sighs, it’s always like this from them. “Sure, Momo-san, what’s up?”

“Hmm, a couple of people are asking, are you two actually dating?” That made Osamu pause for a second, Suna only managed to blink twice and sits straight up.

“Why’d you ask that?” He asks.

“Well, I heard from the girls at the toilet saying they never see you two do anything.”

“What is ‘anything’?’” Suna asks again.

“You know, relationshippy stuff. Skinships. Holding hands, _kissing_.”

Suna couldn’t stop himself from blushing, swiftly tearing his head away from Momo. Unfortunately to him, she notices the red colour on Suna’s ears and smirks, teasing Suna if he’s shy talking about it, Gin laughing along. Osamu glances at Suna, and sighs.

“The girls at the toilet, I assumed it was Yua-san who talked about it,” Osamu says. Momo’s impressed, questioning how Osamu knows her or that she’s the one at the toilet. Osamu waves his hand between them and continues, “Even if it’s true, why would we publicly show anyone anything that we do?”

Yua, so that’s her name, Suna thinks. Momo puts her hand to her chin, nodding in agreement before saying it’s probably because couples are always that way. She walks away before bidding goodbye and a thanks. Suna puts his chin on his hands, looking at Osamu.

“She’s got a point, Samu. We don’t do shit.”

“We don’t have to, we’re not even dating for real.” A slap of truth on Suna’s face. He didn’t say anything afterwards, it’s true. He shouldn’t bother to ask for anything more.

“No, no, Osamu I agree with Momo-chan and Suna. You guys don’t act like you’re a couple at all. See, even the stalker girl notices it and is spreading weird shit again. I thought you guys are doing this so she won’t bother you anymore?” Gin says, waving his chopsticks in front of Osamu’s face.

“We are.”

“Then at least make it at lil a bit convincing, like, like, holding hands. That’s pretty easy to do, right?”

He doesn’t know what Gin’s trying to do, but he’s grateful for it. He looks at Osamu, who’s looking at him back.

“I’ll think about it.”

The day goes on as usual, but the three of them were greeted by Kita-san who came by to inform them that practice is cancelled. Suna huffs in relief, he’s got so much work to be done, he could use the extra time to finish them. He plans to stay back in class, telling Osamu none of his work is moving when he’s on his bed. Osamu laughs, asking if he could join as well. Suna could never say no to him.

The school building is usually empty after the final bell, nobody stays over unless it’s for clubs. But clubs are usually on another floor, and the classrooms are at the top. He likes the silence, he could focus on finishing his homework faster.

“I think we can hold hands.”

Suna pauses, taken aback, watching Osamu’s face for any sign of him joking.

“That’s pretty random. Why so sudden, though?”

“Making it more believable, I guess.” Suna chuckles, and resumes writing down equations on his book.

“I take it you’re okay with it?” Osamu asks, Suna mindlessly nodding. Then, a shadow appeared on his paper, Osamu putting up both his hands towards Suna, face still as emotionless as ever.

“Hold my hands.”

“Wha- what… now? Why?”

“For practice.”

Suna’s heart is running a hundred miles per hour, his eyes looking down on those hands he’s been longing to hold for so long. Is this okay, he thinks. He hopes his hands aren't sweating as he slowly puts down his pencil, and even slowly puts his hands on top of Osamu’s palms. Osamu grabs his hands, intertwining their fingers and putting them up between them. He feels his breath hitch, but tries to compose himself.

He’s imagined a lot of things about Osamu’s hands, but now holding them, it’s even better than he envisioned. It’s not as bony, but isn’t baby smooth from the years he played volleyball. Up close, he notices the moles on his pinky, small but there. It’s perfect, and it fits snuggly with his.

When Osamu releases their hands, he misses the heat instantaneously.

“We should only do this when there are a lot of people watchin’ so it’ll be believable, but not all the time though. Ya agree with that, Rin?”

Suna, still savouring the warmth from their touch, nods. He’s okay with it, pretending or not. This is more than he could ever ask for. He likes his table, next to the window. Because in this moment, with the sunset rays warming Osamu’s hair and the cool air blowing, everything is enough.

The whole school is quick to spread gossip, especially when it’s about relationships. So when news broke out that Osamu and Suna walked to the cafeteria hand in hand, it didn’t surprise Suna how fast everyone knew about it.

He doesn’t know how Osamu’s doing it, or what he’s thinking, but Suna feels like combusting right there and then. He can feel the stares, he can hear the whispers and some gasps, but Osamu’s still with his apathetic face by his side, ordering some yakisoba pan. His heart is beating wild, but this is fun. He loves it, being in a relationship is fun. He smiles, glancing down at their joint hands.

They hold hands walking to the cafeteria, walking to the gym for volleyball practice, during the walk back home, at any time they could find. Suna likes it, he feels giddy when sometimes Osamu initiates it instead of Suna, lightheaded, in love.

Suna didn’t notice when it happened, but their physical contacts increased along the way. Suna leaning his head on Osamu’s shoulders, grabbing his arm when they sit next to each other on the floor, Osamu holding on Suna’s hands longer than needed. They do it in public, but also when they’re alone. It became a routine, something normal between them.

“Hey Samu, ya sure spend a lot of time with Sunarin now.” Atsumu says, wiping his sweat away next to Osamu. Osamu rolls his eyes.

“Cause I don’t wanna spend it with yer ugly ass.”

Aran has to pry the both of them away before one of them ends up dead. Osamu flips a middle finger to Atsumu, who does the same. Suna, who heard them from a distance, agreed with Atsumu. It has become normal, a routine, almost real. He didn’t mind, he liked it, and he’s being selfish. He’ll take whatever he could get from Osamu.

Osamu stares at Suna, then feels a hand on his head. “Aight, just don’t go gettin’ hurt, or worse, hurtin’ Sunarin you lil shit.”

The sound of a slap to the face echoes through the gym.

“I’m so hungry, I bet I could eat more onigiri than you.” Suna says, walking with Osamu to their usual onigiri stall. Osamu laughs, gripping Suna’s hand tighter.

“As if, Rin. You can’t even finish two. You have a stomach the size of a peanut.”

Suna laughs a bit louder, wrapping himself onto Osamu’s arm. Osamu chuckles as well, their sense of humour is on the floor, really bad.

_...or worse, hurtin’ Sunarin you lil shit._

Osamu retracts his arms away, and puts his hands in his pockets. Suna looks at him confusedly.

“There’s nobody around us from school. We don’t have to pretend to be lovers here.”

Ah, right, this is all fake, we’re playing pretend, Suna remembers. He drops his hands to his side.

“Right, sorry.” and continues their walk to the stall. Unfortunately for them, the stall today is a bit packed, but they found two seats next to each other. They both scan through the menu, even though they memorised everything by heart now. Suna glances up, and two tables front of them, three girls with their school uniform, keep looking over their direction. He could see two of them giggling, eyes on Osamu.

He hates it, the way those eyes are lovingly looking at him. He wants to be selfish, he wants Osamu to be his and only his. He wants the whole world to know that, but a little piece of logic stays in his head, saying this is pretend, this is fake. Suna breathes in deep, and sighs. He plops his head on Samu’s shoulder. Osamu tenses up.

“What’re ya doin’?”

Suna thinks this is okay, it isn’t much, but it’s something, some sort of physical contact. A sign, an indication that this person right here is his. However, he wouldn’t tell him that, instead he gives the reason they’re doing this in the first place.

“I’m pretending to be lovers.”

Osamu didn’t get it, that is until he follows Suna’s eyes to where he is staring.  
Ah, Yua-san. She is very persistent, he thinks.

He sighs, circling his arm around Suna and patting his head while continuing to order his and Suna’s onigiri. He glances at Yua again. She’s whispering to the girl next to her, eyes fixated on Osamu.

Oh that’s it. Osamu puts up the menu card, concealing themselves but leaving enough space for Suna’s head to be in view for the girls. Swiftly, he turns to Suna and plants a kiss on Suna’s forehead.

Suna’s eyes widen, but his body is frozen. He couldn’t even look up, his face now a shade of crimson. His view is blocked by the menu card, Osamu’s arms still on his shoulders. He musters up the nerve and lifts his head to look at the side.

Osamu’s eyes are staring to the front, unreadable.

“Wha- I’m- what are you doing?” Suna asks. Osamu turns to look at him, placing down the menu card, their faces are so close Suna feels like he could pass away. One inch closer and they could kiss.

“Pretending to be lovers.”

It’s the start of their final year of high school, Suna happily walks into class, happy that his table is next to the window again, happy that his mother prepared his favourite bento for him.

“Someone’s chippy today.”

Happy that Osamu is still here.

They’ve become quite the popular couple in school; almost everyone, even the juniors, knows about them. How could they not? The Miya Osamu, vice captain of the school’s powerful volleyball team, together with Suna Rintarou who’s a well known middle blocker of the same team. He smiles at Osamu, taking his hand while talking about the bento his mother prepared for him. Osamu, equally happy talking about his bento as well. He has never felt more joy in his life.

“Hey, Suna, you got a minute? I need to talk to you” Gin asks as soon as the recess bell rings. Suna takes out his bento on his table, ready to leave.

“Ah, I’m having lunch with Samu at the courtyard today. You can say it now.”

“No, this is important, we gotta go to the rooftop. It’ll be quick, I promise.” Suna hesitates, but he sees Osamu talking to Atsumu at the hallway, so he agrees and follows him up to the rooftop.

He forgot how cold Spring is, and he’s not even wearing his jacket.

“What is it man, I’m freezi-”

“Suna, you like Osamu don’t you?” Gin asks. Suna froze, looking at his friend with a serious expression. Trying to play it off, he laughs.

“Well, if it’s about the fake dating stuff, sure I ‘have’ to like him don’t I.”

“Bullshit, don’t play dumb with me Suna.”

Gin rarely swears, and when he does, he knows it’s serious. He tries to find a way to get out of this, he couldn’t lie to Gin.

“Suna, I’ve known you since middle school, and the one thing I’m confident enough to say is that you don’t give two shits about people, how you look at others says it all, man. I can see the look in your eyes when you look at him.”

“You’re talking nonsense, I’m doing this to help him.”

“This,” Gin waving his hands around Suna, “whatever this is, has long stopped being fake to you right?”

He tries to think of the way he looks at Osamu, or how he acts around him, was it obvious? Didn’t it look like it could play off as a ‘dating’ thing since they were trying to make it look believable? Suna’s shaking, from the cold, and from the way he’s being stared down.

Right before he could say anything, the door to the rooftop swung open, a couple of students coming in to have lunch at the spot.

“I better get back, Samu’s probably looking for me.” Suna walks away before Gin could say anything, ignoring the stare he could feel from his back.

So what if he’s no longer faking it? He’s not hurting anyone, he’s helping Osamu, while he relishes the touches and the love he gets from him. It’s such a selfish act, he knows, taking this ‘fake dating’ thing for his own pleasurement.

No one is hurt by it.

He finds himself alone with Osamu after practice, wanting to go get snacks at Family Mart which is further away than their usual convenience store that they always go. He doesn’t mind, he’ll do anything for Osamu, anywhere he goes he’ll follow.

Especially after today, the words said by Gin still lingers in his head. So what? Damnit, nobody is getting hurt. He tries to shake the thought away, wanting to savour the moment he’s with Osamu now.

He knows their convenience store routine by heart; walking to the chips aisle, Osamu taking 3 minutes to pick his choice of the day.

“It’s 2 minutes already.”

“Hush now, I need to focus.” Suna smiles, patiently waiting even though he knows which one he’ll take. And he was right.

Next is a quick second at the chocolates aisle, Osamu will never leave any store without m&m’s. Suna taking his favourite chews.

Right after that are the drinks, Suna likes it here. Osamu always makes the same inside jokes over and over again, he doesn't mind, it’s special to him. Their arms occasionally bumping into each other, no longer pulling back at the physical contact.

He steers them to the onigiri rack, and Suna grabs Osamu’s favourite, salmon of course, because the constantly hungry gray haired boy’s arms are full with other snacks. He teasingly places the onigiri on the top of the mountain of items. He likes seeing Osamu whine, because he knows only he gets to see it.

“Dammit they don’t have your soda flavour chuppets. You like those right?” Suna holds back a smile, blushing just a little bit because Osamu remembers his favourites as well.

“It’s fine, just take any flavour-“

“But not orange. Got it” Oh Suna is in love, this time not holding back the grin on his face as he nods. They paid and moved outside, sitting on the stone bench next to the store. The atmosphere is quiet for a moment, Suna knows not to attempt conversation as they munch on their onigiris because the latter wouldn’t answer anyway. He enjoys the silence, the cold treat in his hand, he enjoys any time he could spend with Osamu. They open the bag of chips to share, fingers touching.

“Ya ever think ‘bout what ya wanna do after graduatin’?” Osamu asks. Suna likes talking about the future, he has his opinions on the uncertainty, a real geek if you listen long enough. He rattles on about the economy, which career is predicted to die, and how robots are the way to go.

Typically, he wouldn’t do this. He hates giving his opinions to others, he dislikes the way people don’t listen and think it’s an open sign for debate. He despises it, a lot. But he’s comfortable with Osamu, not because he likes him, he just is. He listens, he understands just what Suna likes, and accepts him easily. It’s not an embarrassment, but a matter of fact. He doesn’t judge, nor does he question it. It is what it is, Suna is just the way he is. Oh, Osamu is perfect. And Suna is in love with him.

“And the Japanese government isn’t doing… what?” Suna asks, cocking an eyebrow, noticing the silence and turns to Osamu. He realised Osamu hadn't said a thing, but was staring at him, fist propped under his chin.

He’s staring right into Suna’s eyes.

“Was just thinking, I like hearing you talk.”

Maybe it was the cool air, or the way the moon is bright and shining above them. Perhaps it was the ambience, only the two of them and a cat across the street. Possibly, the racing heartbeat in Suna’s chest, the way it could burst out right at this moment.

Or it’s how the boy he’s in love with right in front of him smiles so lovingly, pink across his cheeks.

Suna looks at those lips, leaning in.

Except, Osamu pulls back fast, putting both his hands on Suna’s shoulders, holding him at arm's length.

“Hold on. Rin. I’m. Uh, sorry. I- I didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea.”

 _Oh. Fuck_. 

Suna’s eyes widen, his heart sinks to the bottom. He had thought it was okay, stupidly misreading the situation. _Shit_. He scoffs, laughing apologetically. 

“Fuck, fuck. Fuck, I’m so sorry Samu. I’m… fuck, I’m so sorry.” Osamu puts his hands down, sighing.

“I’m an idiot, I should’ve stopped this sooner.”

 _Fuck, he knows_.

Suna stands up hurriedly, picking up his bag and bows.

“I’m sorry.” Legs running away, not looking back even when his name is shouted twice. He feels sick to the bones, whatever he ate just now threatens to vomit back out. He runs, and runs, his legs are giving out, breathing harshly, he’s not going to stop, he can't stop. He made the dumbest mistake and his heart is shattering to pieces. He wants nothing more than the world to swallow him whole, literally anything, to get him out of this.

It pains Suna to look at him, even tortuous that they’re not talking to each other. Their usual morning greeting replaced with aching silence, eyes averting away. Osamu walks out of the class during lunch, leaving Suna alone at his table. Quietly, he opens his bento box and eats. Gin looks at him, and looks at the door, then back at him again.

“No, I don’t want to talk about it.” he said, before Gin could even ask. He doesn’t, he wants to ignore it. He’s ashamed, and most of all, heartbroken.

Practise is uneventful, Suna avoids Osamu at all cost and the latter does the same. It seems Gin and Atsumu were the only two who had a slight clue on what had happened and were decent enough to not blabber anything. Suna could swear Atsumu was more violent than usual with Osamu but he could not figure out why for the life of him. If anything, it was him that deserved to have his head chewed off by the twin. He distracts himself by practising with Gin, his body moving automatically even if his heart wasn't there. 

When they’re done for the day, Suna accidentally looks for Osamu. The routine of going home together is still prevalent even after the events of last night. So when he doesn’t see Osamu, he’s not sure if he should feel relieved or sad. Kicking the tarred road with his shoes, Suna finds himself unable to remember the last time he went home alone. 

It’s about a week after the ‘Family Mart incident’, as Suna calls it, when Osamu suddenly pulls his chair and plops himself in front of Suna’s desk. 

“Rin, we need to talk”

“We’re talking right now” Suna jokes although his heart is beating half a mile a minute. He really hopes his face at least looks calm.

“Idiot. You know what I mean”

The classroom was mostly empty, everyone already heading home after the end of the last period. Gin had left after Suna gave him a nod and a look that said ‘Don’t worry. I’ll be fine’.  
After a few minutes, it was just Suna and Osamu, seating facing each other. 

Suna is preparing to hear Osamu say that it was over for them. The ‘relationship’ and even their friendship. So when he hears what Osamu says next, he’s stunned silent. 

“Rin. Are you listening to me?” Osamu waves his hand in front of Suna’s face then scratches the back of his head. “I want to continue dating you. Fake dating you, I mean.”

“Wh- What? Why? Didn’t I screw that up already. I didn’t expect this” Osamu sighs. 

“Yeah about that. I wanted to say sorry. I-”

“It’s okay Samu. You don’t have to say anything. I understand”

“Rin…”

“So. Continue dating huh? Why do you want to keep on ‘dating’ anyway?”

“I think I still can’t shake off that pesky girl. Y'know the whole week we weren’t talking, I’m pretty sure I saw her even more than before. I guess she noticed us not being together. To be safe, is it okay if we keep this up? I totally understand if ya don’t though so just tell m-”

“Sure” Suna cuts off Osamu’s rambling. “Okay sure, let’s do this. I mean keep on doing this.”

The next day, Osamu initiates every conversation and is eager to spend time with Suna. He even offers his snacks during lunch, surprising even Gin who was sitting with the two of them after their cold war last week.

Suna apologises to Gin when Osamu is out of the class to the toilet, he supposed the least he owes him is an explanation.

“I… yeah, I like him. But, don’t worry about it. He turned me down.”  
He dislikes the way he’s being looked at with pity, but he guesses it’s a normal reaction when your friend just got rejected.

“And you’re okay with resuming this fake dating stuff?”

Is he? Is he okay with faking something now that his feelings are out in the open? A sane person would probably tell him he’s nuts, but this is his last thread of hope. His last chance to see the mop of gray hair up close, smelling the whiff of vanilla scented cologne, and savouring the soft smile that he holds dear.

“Yeah, I’m okay with it.”

Despite Suna’s apprehension, he and Osamu fall back into their routine as if nothing ever happened between them. It wasn’t difficult, Osamu made sure of that. The rumours going about them breaking up, who Suna was pretty sure came from Yua, immediately dissipates as they walk to the cafeteria hand in hand. Suna hopes he isn’t doing this to make him feel better out of guilt, but even if he does regardless, Suna accepts it.

They help each other study for exams, or at least they try their best. Suna says it’s the thought that counts as he shuts his revision books and Osamu lies flat on the table. They laugh together easily. The air around them feels light, Suna hopes he doesn’t notice how he looks at him; nothing but pure adoration.

Days pass by, then weeks, then months and out of nowhere it’s finally graduation day. Suna fixes his hair with his left hand, a scroll on the other.

As expected, Atsumu is nowhere to be seen. He’s probably being dragged away from his many fangirls and boys. Even Osamu has people crowding him for pictures and last minute yearbook signatures. Perks of being hot, Suna muses, snapping candid shots of the grey haired boy from where he’s standing. 

Even Kita-san and Aran came to celebrate them. He swears he could hear Atsumu let out choked sobs as Kita-san hugs him. They take so many pictures, Suna’s pretty sure it’s the first time he’s ever gotten a ‘Storage Full’ alert. A flurry of congratulations, playful jabs and hugs were exchanged between the volleyball team. He’s glad his high school years were filled with these people, chuckling at himself for being nostalgic. 

It takes a few more moments until Suna finds himself with just Osamu. The latter cocks his head to the side of the gym and Suna follows, quietly glad he finally gets some time with him. They sit shoulder to shoulder on the steps leading up to the gym entrance, one the many places they’ve shared hours of their time together. 

“You’re pretty popular Samu, kinda worried you’d be ripped to shreds before we could get a picture with you” Suna teases.

“Ugh they were so annoying, most of them just wanted a picture with ‘Tsumu, don’t know why they gotta drag me too.”

They laugh and grin like two boys without a care in the world.

“Hey Rin, I just wanted to thank ya. I don't think I ever got the chance to. Ya really saved my ass back in second year, honestly even up until now haha,” he finishes with a soft smile.

“It’s cool Samu. You’re welcome.” 

They both go silent for a while, just taking in everything. The school, the volleyball club that brought them together, everyone they got to know, each other, the memories.

“Y’know Rin” Samu begins with a slight smile, hands rubbing the back of his neck, “technically, we never fake broke up”. Samu looks over to the raven haired boy next to him, a sight so familiar and comforting. 

“I guess you’re right Samu.” Rin steals a glance to his side from the corner of his eyes, to the grey haired boy he’s trained his eyes on. 

Their eyes meet.

**Author's Note:**

> come cry over angst with us on twitter! [ hani's twitter ](https://twitter.com/moonstarkeiji) and [ bun's twitter ](https://twitter.com/inarizakillme)
> 
> drop us a follow if you'd like to, we'll be posting a new story every day for Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 :)
> 
> kudos and comments appreciated!


End file.
